Thursday’s Thoughts for Parents from www.marriedlifeblog.com

How do I know if my parenting is grace motivated? If you are like me, you sometimes wonder if the training and correction you bring your children is born out of a godly desire and carried out in a godly manner.

At a recent meeting for our pastors and wives, we were discussing our parenting. At one point, Josh asked Grant to share how he discerns his motives in parenting. As is typical of Grant, he was not looking to exalt his example. But he was persuaded to share the questions he asks to identify both grace and self-righteousness in his parenting.

• Am I asking questions of my child or simply bringing my conclusions?
• Is this a conversation or is this a lecture?
• As I address them am I talking too long?

Our answers to these questions can help us discern if we are self-righteously judging our children…or leading by grace.

Grant reminded us that our goal is to ask questions in a manner that allows and helps our children to see their sin. Obviously for younger children, they will need us to introduce them to sin categories and explain in simple terms where we carry concerns for them. But older children, when responding humbly, can learn to receive our questions and allow God’s Spirit to guide them to conviction.

And where they respondhumbly, let’s celebrate that evidence of the Spirit’s work in their lives.

He also encouraged us to ask, “Are they aware of my encouragement? Are they soaked in my encouragement?”

Remember that our children usually don’t respond to correction the first time…nor are they usually convicted the first time. Surprise, they are like us.

Our temptation is to respond quickly and harshly out of fear or self-righteousness. Our children need to be shepherded. That will require our training and correction. But let it be done in grace. Thanks Grant for giving us discernment and an outstanding example to follow.

Posted by Brian Chesemore under Parenting