Mindy’s Place

Ways I can Be a Helper to my husband:

1. Ask him how I can be a helper to him?
2. I spent some time asking him the following questions and drawing him out
a. Does he like my hair long or short?
b. If it’s long does he mind that it’s up most of the time?
c. When I start going gray would he want me to color my hair?
d. Does he prefer that I wear make-up? (in what contexts?)
e. Would he prefer me to wear jeans or dresses? if dresses, what kind?
f. Would he like me to greet him when he comes home?
h. What type of communication best shows him honor?
1. written cards
2. verbal
3. outward affection
4. initiating
5. responsive to his advances
6. obeying him cheerfully
3. I’ve been sending notes of encouragement in his lunch almost everyday
4. I am actively identifying my selfish thoughts and telling myself the truth about this…thoughts that lead me to bitterness and pity party. God’s Word renews my mind concerning my role as helpmeet…nothing else I do in life is more important than this role…this is the single most important relationship God is using to bring Himself glory in my life. That is sobering!

God’s perfect will for my life is that I be a help meet to my husband.
I do have a choice in how good my marriage will be.
“For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” (1 Corinthians 11:8-9

1. Virtue (In the ESV virtue is translated EXCELLENCE)
Virtue (Greek αρετη; Latin virtus) is the habitual, well-established, readiness or disposition of man’s powers directing them to some goodness of act. (1) Virtue is moral excellence of a man or a woman. The word αρετη is derived from the Greek arete (αρετη). As applied to humans, a virtue is a good character trait.

2 Peter 1:3 “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and EXCELLENCE.”

2. Graciousness
1. Characterized by kindness and warm courtesy.
2. Characterized by tact and propriety: responded to the insult with gracious humor.
3. Of a merciful or compassionate nature.

1 Peter 2:19 “For this is a GRACIOUS thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly.” This is in the context of servants submitting to unjust masters. Peter says that it’s no good to suffer for our sinful responses but that it’s a gracious thing to suffer for submitting even to an unjust authority. What Hope that brings in living among sinners such as ourselves.

3. Wisdom
The ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight.

James 1:2-5 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks WISDOM, let him ask of God who give generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Proverbs 14:16 “One who is WISE is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.”

4. Prudence
1. The state, quality, or fact of being prudent.
2. Careful management; economy.
Synonyms: prudence, discretion, foresight, forethought, circumspection
These nouns refer to the exercise of good judgment, common sense, and even caution, especially in the conduct of practical matters. Prudence is the most comprehensive: “She had been forced into prudence in her youth, she learned romance as she grew older” Jane Austen.
Discretion suggests wise self-restraint, as in resisting a rash impulse: “The better part of valor is discretion” Shakespeare.
Foresight implies the ability to foresee and make provision for what may happen: She had the foresight to make backups of her computer files.
Forethought suggests advance consideration of future eventualities: The empty refrigerator indicated a lack of forethought.
Circumspection implies discretion, as out of concern for moral or social repercussions: “The necessity of the times, more than ever, calls for our utmost circumspection” Samuel Adams.

Proverbs 10:14 “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is PRUDENT.”

Proverbs 19:14 “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a PRUDENT wife is from the Lord.” (Note: Only the Lord can produce a prudent wife).

Proverbs 14:15 “The simple believes everything, the the PRUDENT gives thought to his steps.”

5. Goodness
that which is pleasing or valuable or useful

Proverbs 31:12 “She does him GOOD and not harm, all the days of her life.
Galatians 6:7-9 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows , that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing GOOD, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

A Good Help Meet has a Passion to be of Service
The words help meet bring up images in my mind of a woman who serves others. A good help meet will have a passion to be of service. Her first calling is to be of service to her husband, then her children, and when time affords, her passion of service will spill over to serving others.

A Quote from the Chapter that really convicted me: On page 23 she explains that our submission to our husbands is God’s design and divine calling for us. Jesus willingly submitted to the Father and the Holy Spirit became a helper to the Son. “There is no loss of dignity in subordination when it serves a higher purpose. God made you to be a help meet to your husband so you can bolster him, making him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do. You are not on the board of directors with an equal vote. You have no authority to set the agenda. But if he can trust you, he will make you his closest advisor, his confidante, his press secretary, his head of state, his vice-president, his ambassador, his public relations expert, maybe even his speech writer-all at his discretion.” OH HOW I WANT TO BE THIS KIND OF HELPER!! In Ephesians 5 Paul explains how the marriage relationship is a picture of Christ’s relationship with His church. The church is FOR glorifying and magnifying Christ. I pray that my purpose would be to magnify my husband and make him a success…for God’s glory alone!