I have been listening to a message by Doug Phillips from Vision Forum Ministries titled, “A Wise Woman’s Guide to Blessing Her Husband’s Vision” and I am so challenged and convicted and inspired and excited and THANKFUL! God is so kind in leading me to these resources…by challenging my wrong ideas and patterns that I’ve learned throughout my life. He is truly transforming my desires and my heart to long for something that is so outside of my own abilities to achieve. I have asked Him to root out all self-dependence and by exposing me to His truth and His pattern for marriage He is truly showing me that apart from His grace and His Spirit I am hopeless to change and be a glory to Him.

A summary of what I’m learning is the following:

My husband’s mission is to Glorify God and enjoy Him forever, to be fruitful and multiply, to have dominion over the earth, to serve God, to make disciples of nations leading them to obey.

If I do not become excellent at helping him fulfull this mission he will be tempted to transfer his mission to his job. Some ways that I can be a helper to him are the following:
a. Grant compassion in response to his weaknesses
b. Learn to understand him
c. Constantly reinforce his authority by deferring to him and submitting
d. Accept him for who he is
e. Never compare him to other men
f. Encourage him to pursue the Lord, but never rebuke him
g. Speak to him about things of God without pretending to be his spiritual superior, teacher or mentor
h. Seek to build his kingdom, but his way
i. Cover and NEVER EXPOSE his weaknesses to others.
j. Find my identity in his mission, not my own individual one
k..Represent him in everything I do (do what I know would be a priority to him)

These are definitely new ideas and things I haven’t seen modelled in real life until just recently here at Covenant Life Church, and I must admit the prospect of having this kind of marriage brings great joy to my heart. But, there is also a bit of fear involved in making myself vulnerable and giving myself completely to my husband. However, I’m reminded of God’s Word in 1 Peter 3:5,6 where He says the following: “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” Yes, there is an element of fear, but when I truly renew my mind on God’s Word He transforms my desires from self-protection to trust in His promises.

Because He is faithful,
Mindy

I’m sure some of you are wondering why I’m on this marriage soap box! Well, as I was listening to a sermon yesterday by C.J. Mahaney on Philippians I was reminded of the motive behind all of life..presenting the Gospel to the lost world and making disciples of all nations. And, I was encouraged even more of the importance of my marriage relationship. In Ephesians 5 Paul is discussing marriage and the relationship between the husband and wife and said that what he was really talking about was Christ and His Church. SO, they way I interact with Jeremy is demonstrating the Gospel to the world.

May the Lord help me, the worst of sinners, to overcome my sinful judging of my husband and enable me to truly be the helpmeet he needs in order to be the man God has created him to be.
All for the Gospel,
Mindy

This article is amazingly helpful in dealing with sin in our hearts. Our Care Group has been studying chapters 3,4 and 5 from “Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands” by Paul David Tripp and this coming Friday will be studying and discussing this article: http://www.hispeace.org/html/heart.htm?pfriend=Yes

I hope that many of you will find it helpful in your own lives!

For the Gospel,
Mindy

God in His kindness has been exposing my sinful heart to me and though it is not fun I am so grateful for His care. I am so grateful for C.J. Mahaney’s teaching from James 4 on this topic. His example of humility in looking to his own heart during times of conflict have encouraged me to do the same. A pattern that I’ve been made aware of is with my husband. Oftentimes as I am working around the house doing all the necessary things to keep it running efficiently I find myself desiring that he would notice and help out. So, I have a desire for help, but I refuse to ask for specific help because also in my mind is the idea that these things are my responsibility and I shouldn’t expect him to help. So, instead of humbling myself and asking for help I allow resentment and bitterness to take over. This leads to withholding affection, a joyless atmosphere, a martyr attitude…now, I don’t often engage in outward conflict but there is definite tension in my home instead of joy! I would appreciate your prayers as I seek the Lord’s help in actively fighting against this sin in my own heart.

Thank you,
Mindy